Let me tell you something about my son and PDA (Pathological demand avoidance)

Before my son could talk he was controlling, clingy, afraid of open spaces, and pointing to things he wanted. His language delay didn't seem too much of a problem.. he had some speech & language therapy for about a year. A few people in the medical profession blamed me - because he was still sucking on a dummy.

Then the odd behaviour started, rituals, tics, absconding, running away, defacing any drawing me drew for me, psyching me out constantly, all day - every day... but the school didn't seem to bother about being concerned... no.. they just said he was a little anxious.

So as the years went on, his behaviour became more obsessive. He was full of tics.. his head, hands and legs were tic riddled... but still no-one else seemed to care... (like this is normal behaviour)!

Since nursery he hid under tables.. only to be dragged out by the teacher and TA's  awww they couldn't leave him no.. they dragged him out and made him sit like a good little boy (like the other well behaved kids)

Because I was suffering with depression at the time (still am actually) the teachers concluded it was my fault because children pick up on the negative energy that a person gives off, you know like a negative vibe!!

Thanks for that teachers ... that was so helpful. It made me feel even worse than I was already feeling and doubting my own abilities as a mother.

Head-teacher "Have you thought about parenting classes, they're very helpful for parents like you... in your position"

So let's look at year one (I've changed schools) It's not going well... M spends the day trying to run off, hitting his head and escaping to hide under a table ... cue (he's dragged out)
and as soon as I pick him up from school - he errupts! Remember this has actually been happening since he started nursery

As the months drag on they (the school/teachers) especially the nasty vindictive old cow of a Head teacher) are complaining daily because of his "naughty behaviour" he's told off daily... shouted at, made to sit outside the nasty vindictive old cows office! DAILY.. He's full of tics ... but no-one seems to care about any of this... they have told me in no uncertain terms that he "can't be autistic" he doesn't line up cars, or fits an Aspergers criteria... He's AN ATTENTION SEEKER!

I know that something is not right with my youngest son... I just know.. I'm his mum and I know... but no-one is backing me up.

Life is so hard.. even simple requests like asking him to clean his teeth turns into meltdowns, hitting himself, biting himself, throwing himself around... E V E R Y- S I N G L E- D A Y ! I am totally exhausted, depleted mentally, emotionally and physically.

So after many meeting it's decided that M can see a Educational psychologist - we wait months for that (about 6 months) after doing some tests with him, they conclude that he's just anxious and unsettled... And have I thought about a "parenting course" they're very good for parents who are not coping!!!

They also have him (risk assessed) because he's violent in the playground.. an incident which happened once because of another kid who constantly antagonised him... another kid who had been banned from every other school in the county because of his antagonistic behaviour! He wound the crap out of my son, but no-one dared say anything about him because he just happened to be a black kid.. and they didn't want to be seen as picking on him... also it was a prodomenently  white school and they wanted desperately to be seen as a diverse school... the school where the troubled black kid would settle down (Do you see where I'm coming from) so it was my son who was the trouble maker!

I was troubled with my sons behaviour so one day when I got home, I Googled (children who hide under tables) and what I discovered blew me away! Talk about having a LIGHTBULB MOMENT!! I was steered onto the Autistic society website where I found a condition called PATHOLOGICAL DEMAND AVOIDANCE and I knew without a shadow of doubt that this was what my son has.

I printed off as much information as I could and took it in to his school and showed it to the SENCO who unsuprisingly had never heard of it... neither had anyone else.... Educational psychologist, doctor, head teacher... NO-ONE!!! Not only that they were refusing to acknowledge this condition even existed!!! This left me feeling more depressed than ever... how in the world was I going to convince them that it does exist and support me... more importantly support my son!!!

Yes he came home with bruises from that kid.. but the school never did shit about it! The OLD vindictive cow of a Head teacher disliked my son... you could sense it with every rotten breath she took. We didn't like her can you tell?

Things went from bad to worse and over the years my son started to self harm, throwing himself hard onto the floor, full of tics again, punching his face, banging his head against the brick wall, but to name a few... he was assessed again and again in that school and no-one was listening to me.
My son was getting worse by the month..... so after much thought it was decided he would be better off in a village school.

WOW suprise suprise he settled quite a lot in a village school (6 kids) in class ... the difference in noise reduction was so obvious... but still no-one else was seeing what I was seeing.

to be continued ....


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FACT SHEET .... Gua Sha

 Gua Sha Gua Sha (pronounced Gwah Shah) is a cleansing technique used by many practitioners of traditional medicines. It involves the methodical application of pressure and stimulation of the skin using a round-edged instrument, often a Chinese porcelain spoon, which results in the appearance of small red or purple spots (petechiae) called 'sha'. The effect is similar to that of a scrape but the skin is not damaged in any way and the redness fades in a few days.

The technique is used to move qi and/or blood stagnation, which is considered to be the main cause of pain and stiffness in muscles and joints. It can promote good circulation and release tension. According to the principles of traditional Chinese medicine it is used to ‘release fire’ from the channels (meridians) where the blood is encouraged to flow more freely in the vessels, thus effecting a cleansing action in the body. Gua sha therapy should be carried out by a properly trained practitioner, as there are contraindications for its use.

 This fact sheet has been produced by The British Acupuncture Council 63 Jeddo Road London W12 9HQ

 Tel: 020 8735 0400 Fax: 020 8735 0404
 Email: info@acupuncture.org.uk www.acupuncture.org.uk

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